Questions Without Answers

Years ago, many years ago, we had a Bible teacher named Mr. Feenstra. He would ask us questions for which there were no answers. At the time we thought they were really dumb questions because there wasn’t an easy answer.

I am finding during these last weeks that there are a lot of questions without answers. I am also finding that the older I get…the more questions I seem to have. I find that my world gets grayer right along with my hair!

I have been reading a lot of posts on social media these last days. Probably because I seem to have time to do that. I also am curious what people are thinking and what my friends and family are doing.

Many of these posts raise more questions for me, about this time in our world. I read posts about how, staying home is what a “good Christian” would do. I read posts saying that saving a life is the top priority. I read posts about how people are suffering during this time and how they are overcoming.

Some of the questions I get to thinking about in the wee hours of the morning: Am I a better Christian staying home and staying safe and keeping others physically safe or am I a better Christian going to the home of a person who lives alone and desperately needs someone to physically give them a hug? Is the need for physical safety higher than the need for emotional and mental well-being?

I wonder if the need for physical safety trumps the need for spiritual well-being and worshipping with community. I wonder if physical safety is better than financial safety and at what point does financial insecurity become physically unsafe?

Where is the tipping point where self-isolation becomes harmful in more ways than physical? At what point do I sacrifice my well-being to tend the very real needs of someone who needs me to be physically there?

I read stories of those who are hurt by the lack of physical contact that comes with hugging someone you care about, but does not live in your home. They are hurt by the glares they receive if they come within 5 feet of someone in the grocery store instead of maintaining the standard 6 feet. Is one persons need of physical safety higher than another’s need of emotional, mental, financial and spiritual safety?

I don’t know the answers to those questions and I am struggling with them as I watch the farmers in our area grow more and more concerned about how they will make it. I watch small business people worry about the employees they had to lay off and furlough and wonder if they will have a business to go back to. I see teachers aching for their students.

I see pastors struggling with the fact they have to do their job long distance. I see stories of domestic abuse on the rise due to being stuck at home where it is not safe. There are stories of families going hungry because their parents do not work at an “essential business”. At what point do these issues become as important as staying healthy? At what point does staying isolated become selfish instead of selfless?

I wonder if following all the rules, while neglecting all my questions makes me a “good Christian” or a “good Pharisee”? Does posting judgmental comments on social media against those who are not reacting the same as me, make me socially responsible or a social bully? At what point am I just surviving instead of living? So many questions……very few answers.

I do know that history will judge us. It is always easier to judge after the fact. I wonder how we will look through the lens of time. Will we look like people who cowered in fear? Will we look like people who sacrificed for the needs of others? Will we look like people who were discerning and had wisdom? Will this just be a blip in the timeline of our world or will this so change our world that we no longer recognize it? Will we be judged on our lack of ability to listen, really listen to someone who had a different opinion than us?

What I DO know is this…now is the time to encourage and lift each other up. Now is not the time to beat each other over the head with our presumptions of how others should live or react. Now is the time to listen, to hear each other….to talk with each other and connect.

“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way…” 1 Corinthians 13:4,5a,b. I also know I must not fall into the trap of thinking that this verse is perfect for so and so because they are, or are not social distancing…..because that is not really love at all.

You may wonder why I posted a photo of rocks. For me rocks are solid. They are not easily chipped. They are not tossed about by random winds of change. They become smooth and shiny and beautiful with the pounding of storms. They stand firm.

Soooo…..a big thank you to Mr. Feenstra….the teacher who taught us to think beyond what we see. He taught us discernment and we never even realized that is what he was teaching. He taught us to plant our feet on solid ground…something that will never shift. He taught us that when firmly planted; we can truly listen, hear, see and be love to those around us. He taught us to be rocks…….and maybe that is our answer to all those questions…….

“Lord,
give me firmness without hardness,
steadfastness without dogmatism,
love without weakness.”
― Jim Elliot

 

The Waiting Time

 

To be honest….there isn’t much in my life that has changed too much with all the confusion in this world. As farmers we kind of roll with the seasons anyway; and this has always been a time of waiting.

We wait for the winter storms to be done. We wait for the earth to dry up enough to till the fields that have been resting since they were harvested last fall. We wait for the warmth of those Spring days…when the sun shines and warms the earth enough for the asparagus shoots to peek through the earth. We wait.

In a way it is a blessing for us that we are used to this waiting season. It makes the staying home a bit easier to do.( It does not make it any easier to think of the hugs I am missing from my kids and grandkids!)

My heart goes out to those whose waiting is very unusual….to those who are laid off or furloughed at this time. To those waiting for a loved one to get over the virus….to those who wonder if they have caught it. The anxiety of wondering how long this will last can be incredibly hard. The not knowing can be the worst.

This past week my sister did a video with Pastor John (the pastor of her church). He has been doing this with various members of his congregation to keep everyone in touch and to make sure they are all doing well.

After I watched this video I was extremely proud of my sister. She is a private person and this was a step of faith that she took, because she realized it might help others during this time. She gave me her permission to share the link for this video.

I hope it inspires you during this waiting time. I hope it eases your mind and calms your soul. I pray it makes you realize you are not alone in any of this. There are others waiting and wondering. There are others with fear.

I pray her testimony blesses you as much as it blessed me….and yes I may be biased (okay I AM biased). May this find you seeing the blessings in the small things like flowers, birds and a good jigsaw puzzle.

May this post find you looking for the good in this time of waiting and finding the treasure hidden in it…the treasure of time to be still. May you know the comfort that this season will pass and may you come to treasure this time of waiting.

The sun is always shining,
you just can’t always see it.
John S.
(my dad)

 

 

 

Easter Blessings

Easter Blessings to all of you!  During this time of staying put and not seeing to many people I have been blessed by a lot of talented people.

There have been the blessings of humor in the memes people have posted on various social media. These have totally brightened my days!

I have been blessed by pastors who share their Biblical wisdom on live streamed church services. I have been blessed by pictures of pastors who stood in the snowstorm this Easter Sunday (yes we are having a snowstorm!) and preached to a parking lot of people sitting in their cars.

I also relearned, from Pastor Brian, that “the empty tomb isn’t to just keep us from dying–it is to show us how to live.”  Abundant life in Christ, changes everything.

During these day I have also been blessed by a gal named Janene. She is a talented piano player and has been sharing those talents on Facebook. She takes requests for old hymns, new hymns and uplifting songs.

Today I wanted to share with you; her song for Easter Sunday…..Low In The Grave He Lay. I hope it blesses you as much as it has blessed me. (And I do hope the link works for you!)

Low in the grave He lay Jesus my Savior
Waiting the coming day Jesus my Lord
Up from the grave He arose
With a mighty triumph o’er His foes
He arose a victor from the dark domain
And He lives forever with His saints to reign
He arose He arose
Hallelujah Christ arose
Vainly they watch His bed Jesus my Savior
Vainly they seal the dead Jesus my Lord
Death cannot keep his prey Jesus my Savior
He tore the bars away Jesus my Lord
Christ the Lord is risen today alleluia
Sons of men and angels say alleluia
Raise your joys and triumphs high alleluia
Sing ye heavens and earth reply alleluia
Lives again our glorious King alleluia
Where O death is now thy sting alleluia
Once he died our souls to save alleluia
Where’s thy victory boasting grave alleluia
Love’s redeeming work is done alleluia
Fought the fight the battle won alleluia
Death in vain forbids Him rise alleluia
Christ hath opened paradise alleluia
Soar we now where Christ has led alleluia
Following our exalted Head alleluia
Made like Him like Him we rise alleluia
Ours the cross the grave the skies alleluia

I have included the lyrics so you may also sing along!  Have a blessed Easter Sunday and live life fully.

He is Risen!
He is Risen Indeed!

 

 

Good Friday 2020

 

Today is Good Friday. A key part of Holy Week for Christians around the world. This year hardly feels like a normal Holy Week probably because it is not normal. There is no Maundy Thursday service, no somber Good Friday service, no gathering on Easter Sunday to celebrate our risen Savior. No sharing of communion with a body of believers.

This doesn’t mean there is no Holy Week. It just means that it looks a bit different than we are used to. Services are watched online or on tv. Communion is taking place in our very own living rooms. And we will be celebrating that empty tomb on Easter Sunday!

I went back….waaaay back, to a post I had written in 2016. It still rings true today. I tried to reblog it to my blog  but my wordpress buttons don’t seem to be cooperating so I have copied and pasted instead.

REFLECTIONS ON GOOD FRIDAY

Even as a kid I wondered why they called this day Good Friday. In looking at the cross it never seemed like a good thing. Reflecting on good things makes me realize that many things in life do not, on the surface or while in the midst of them, seem like good things.

I am pretty sure everyone can look at their life and the hard, dark places that come with living and wonder where that good part is hiding. Sometimes you have to look pretty hard to find even a slight glimmer of the good. This is true, especially when you are in the middle of a hard place. There are some hard things that you may not see that shimmer of light for several years and some maybe never while on this earth. I am guessing that is where faith comes in and the hope of things unseen. (my slightly garbled version of Hebrews 11:1)

Do you ever wonder about Good Friday? Do you ever wonder if the disciples felt like their entire world was crashing down and dying on the cross with their Lord and friend? I wonder how they found the courage to take that next breath and wake up the next morning. Did they find themselves sighing deeply, hunching their shoulders to ward off the next psychological blow, swallowing back the tears and looking for anything to relieve the incredible pain? Did they spend those next three days asking “What if” or saying “If only”? Did they for an instant see the glimmer of the good that would come from this violent, brutal killing of the one they loved? Or was the darkness just to deep and the hurt so bottomless that there was no comfort and there were no words?

As a mom I cannot imagine how Mary survived those days. The memories of Jesus as an infant, the images in her mind of him taking his first steps, saying his first word. Did she remember if she was angry that he had stayed back in the temple, as a child, rather than leaving with his family on that trip home from Jerusalem? Did she ponder all these things and remember the words and promises that her son had told her? After having that horrible image of her son hanging on a cross stamped indelibly in her mind was there a small flicker of hope that he would rise from the dead or was it just to much to even think at all? There is no way I can begin to comprehend the despair that she, as a mom, felt at that point.

If you are going through a hard time that seems so dark that no light can penetrate; remember the promise of this day….this Good Friday. Yes, it is a good day. The promise of this day makes the living through the tough times less difficult. Not necessarily easier, just less difficult. This good day has brought grace. It has brought forgiveness. It has brought redemption. It has restored us to our place as God’s dearly loved children. That is a gift that is beyond imagining and I am ever so grateful. This day does not protect us from what life brings but it gives us hope for an amazing future. It is a promise.

So look for that glimmer of good, that glimmer of hope, that little sliver of light in the circumstance you are in. Hang on to the promise of this day. Hang on to the One who loved you enough to die for you and more than that, who was raised to life and is even now at the right hand of God and is interceding for us (Rom. 8:34)

May you be blessed wherever you are on this Good Friday and remember Sunday’s coming!!

I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with unfailing kindness
Jeremiah 31:3

The cross at the top of this post was drawn by my youngest son when he was in high school. I love the way how this drawing reminds me how much Jesus loves me and each of us. I love being reminded that I am free, really free because of what happened on that one day…..that Good Friday so long ago.

 

 

 

 

 

Pictures of Grace

This is a weird time in our world’s history. People are social distancing,wearing gloves and masks to do their shopping and hunkering down for who knows how long. For some this is hard. For those who love being home….not so hard.

I am finding that amid all the “new normal” there are so many reasons to be grateful. There are so many pictures of grace. I am also finding that sometimes those pictures of grace don’t look quite what we are used to!

Today, after helping a brother in law who is home-bound, we stopped by our mailbox to pick up the mail. Stuffed in the mailbox was a bag that said the sender was “The Chicken Coop”. I was stumped as to who sent it and what it was. Before I had ever made it to the house I was guessing. (It felt a bit like Christmas!)

The artwork on the back side of the package had me grinning before I even opened it. When I opened it and discovered the t-shirt, pictured above, my grin became even wider.
I was still mystified by who could have sent it; till I opened the card included in the package.

What I read amazed me.  It was from a gal that I know (Glenda V.) who said she reads my Facebook posts and is blessed by them and the photos. What she doesn’t know, is how much she had just blessed me. I have the shirt hanging in my living room at this time and it does my heart good!

Yes, pictures of grace don’t always look like you think they would. Sometimes they look like a t-shirt with a chicken on them and truth written across it. Sometimes they look like my friend (Merilyce) who stopped by with an Easter bag “just because”. (She was also an answer to prayer as my sewing machine was not cooperating and she is a sewing wizard.)

Yes….I am social distancing. But I am continuing to live life…just living it more carefully. I think the card that came with my shirt says it all….. “Be messy+complicated+afraid and then show up anyways.”

Let’s not just survive this time of uncertainty. Let’s live it to the full. Let’s live it fully…just differently than what we are used to. Let’s call people to make sure they are doing okay and to ease the loneliness of staying home. We can be apart and safe and yet stay close and grow those relationships.

Let’s send a card. (this card came from Rosie’s Boutique which is an amazing testimony on it’s own!) Let’s help when it’s messy+complicated+afraid…..let’s show up anyway….even if showing up is a phone call, text or message or snail mail. Let’s meet people where they are….even if where they are is messy and complicated.

May the weekend find you being blessed by those around you and may it also find you blessing someone else by showing grace…..however that grace might look.

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace –
only that it meets us where we are
but does not leave us where it found us.

Anne Lamott

 

 

 

 

Learning From a Cat

We seem to have acquired a cat. Last year this cat wandered to our place and has been wandering in and out of our lives ever since.

She has always been very leery of us till a couple months back. That was the first time I was able to touch her. It took a lot of time…coaxing, leaving food and just talking to her every time she was within sight.

My husband started calling her Blackie, for obvious reasons, but for me I still just call her Cat. She seems to know both names.

Cat loves to sun on our deck in the mornings but runs for cover the minute we open the patio door. It is a different story when we open the door to the garage. Once that door opens she waits for us to come out. I have not yet, figured out why we are so scary when we come out a different door. I have a feeling it is because she expects leftover food from the garage and is not certain what to expect from the patio door.

She has been teaching me a lot of lessons during this time of uncertainty. Her relationship with me kind of reminds me of our relationship with God. We know He is good and only wants what is best for us.

We can get just close enough for Him to touch us….but can get very uncomfortable when He tries to pick us up and carry us. Cat will only let me pet her. When I try draw her close and pick her up she gets nervous and fidgety and wiggles till I let her down.

I have a feeling there are a lot of us; that are like that cat. We really want to be held close to the heart of our Maker but fear holds us back. We cannot imagine that we are loved so much that He wants us that close.

Fear has a way of stealing our joy, stealing our lives and keeping us from realizing an amazing closeness with our Maker and with those we love. It has a way of keeping us from experiencing grace and giving grace.

We are in a time of great uncertainty.  We might be acting a lot like the cat. Perhaps we should step out in trust….perhaps we need to give over control and let ourselves be held close. Perhaps we need to just accept grace and give it in return.

Maybe, just maybe, we need to get beyond waiting at the garage door for leftovers and sit by the patio door and wait for the really good stuff.

May this find you safe, healthy and trusting.  May this find you waiting by the patio door, in faith and hopeful expectation that life will be good because God is good.

Grace is not reserved for good people;
grace underscores the goodness of God.

Andy Stanley

 

 

 

Fresh Starts

With the New Year well underway I wonder how many people have decided they need a fresh start. Perhaps you are looking for a fresh start with your physical health. That seems to be a big priority at this time of year.

My husband always laughs at the fact that prior to the holidays the ads everywhere; are all about food. They show Christmas cookies that can be made. There are recipes for new side dishes at Thanksgiving and lots of ideas for beverages for the New Year celebrations.

After the holidays are done; all the ads seem to be for gym memberships, weight loss plans, exercise equipment and on and on. I must confess my mind was running along those lines this year.

After all the celebrations, my clothes were feeling a bit snug. I am too tight to buy new clothes for my “fatter” stage. I started pondering on the fact that perhaps I should move a bit more.

There was a simple challenge put out by Young Living for it’s members. They call it #NewMeIn90.  The idea is to intentionally move 30 minutes a day. They want you to make small workable changes that will leave you, not just in better health, but feeling better about life in general.

As I was thinking on this concept a friend, Kim, put out a challenge and a link to a 30 day journey into yoga. She did this on Facebook. I quizzed her by asking if this was something an out of shape (very out of shape) older fat woman could do. (I figured I had best start out the year being honest!) She assured me it was doable.

This week I set out to give it a whirl as I figured it would benefit my balance, flexibility and strength. I am happy to report it was going well…..till I hit Day 6. Day 6 is titled, Ignite.

Adriene, the yoga gal (who shall now be named YG) told us we were going to ignite the fire in our belly. I mumbled under my breath that the last 5 days had already been doing that, as I was starting to discover my long lost core. (I had previously not been sure I even had one anymore.)

Day 6 did not go well. After three, crunch- leg and head lifting type things (that started a roaring bonfire in my belly) I gave up that move. She ended that session with smushing up into a small ball with her knees tucked under her and her forehead on the ground.

I am here to tell you, that last pose was another move that didn’t quite work out properly. When you have extra mass around your middle it gets in the way of smushing and doing the deep breathing that YG kept reminding us to do.

Plans are to finish that 30 day challenge. It might not be done gracefully, but I have Kim holding me accountable and that makes me keep going.

It is good to have someone to hold a person accountable. Maybe that should be my goal this year. Be accountable. Do what I say. Finish what I start. Do what I can with what I am given and realize giving your best is good enough.

Perhaps the fresh start the New Year gives us is not just about getting into better physical shape. Perhaps, it is about persevering…..taking the next step….doing the next pose and keeping on even when life is hard.

Maybe YG is right….maybe just taking the time to breathe in and breathe out and being still is a great goal. Maybe it gives us the time to hear that still small voice. Maybe it gives us the space to really see what our Creator has laid out before us. Just maybe, it gives us the peace we need to embrace the gifts we have been given….whatever they might be.

Let us take this fresh start and receive it with joy.  Let’s relish the gift of life and delight in the steps along the way. Let’s take our cue from children….they don’t worry about tomorrow….they just live in the space that is now and enjoy that time.

When you dance,
your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor.
It’s to enjoy each step along the way.
-Wayne Dyer

 

 

Happy New Year

It is hard to imagine that 2019 has already come and gone. I have a feeling I say that every year…..but every year it always does surprise me that another year has come and gone.

This past New Year’s Eve we celebrated; as we always do…with friends. Each year 3 of the couples are in charge of coming up with the evening’s theme, food and games. This year we chose the 20s as we were ringing in the 2020s.

The photo does make me laugh, as our parties are held in our church youth building and alcohol has never been involved. I also have to grin about the candy cigarettes dangling from some mouths. We had candles on the tables that could not be lit, as no one had any matches or lighters…..no one smokes in this group!

Through the night we discovered many new facts about the 20s…..games that were introduced during that time (Yahtzee & Bunco), foods that showed up (Baby Ruth candy bars, Oreos and Red velvet cake), and what people were famous for (I had no idea Corrie Ten Boom was also famous for being the first licensed woman watchmaker during the 20s).

There was lots of laughter and the sharing of stories. The conversation flowed easy, as is normal when friends get together. There are so many memories with this group of people.

Through the years we have shared parties, births of children and grandchildren, deaths of family members, sickness, surgeries, health, weddings, funerals and everything in between. We have shared life and been made better people for that sharing.

The older I get, the more I value friendships. Friends…true friends…get us through life’s hardest moments. Friends know when to help “fix” things and when to sit and listen.

Friends share joys like the joys are theirs and grieve when you grieve. A really good friend allows you to be stupid and doesn’t let you look stupid alone. Friends are family of the heart. This group of people are those type of friends.

May the new year find you with friends. Friends that “stick closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:24). May you be richly blessed with relationships of the heart and bless those friends in return.

Happy New Year my friends!

 

The greatest gift of life is friendship,
and I have received it.

— Hubert H Humphrey

Wrong Side Of the Fence

Today was finally the day…we finally got around to getting the chicken coop ready for the winter. That pretty much involves cleaning out the nesting boxes, removing the roost, cleaning up the floor and putting down plenty of new wonderful smelling pine shavings.

Needless to say, the girls did not seem to appreciate the effort. My best guess is they just got so used to the coop gradually getting dirtier that they did not notice that a clean up was overdue.

For some reason the cleaning seemed to confuse the girls. When it was time to go in for the night; one of them ended up on the wrong side of the fence. Instead of retracing her steps to get back to the right side, she just kept running back and forth in front of the chicken run. I am not sure if she thought a door would magically appear or what.

It took a bit of urging and herding to get her where she needed to be. It was rather funny to see her run as fast as she could to get in the coop when she finally figured out where she was. It is really too bad that chickens don’t have faces that show much expression…..perhaps that is why they can be so vocal?

I am kind of thinking that I am a bit (okay…maybe a lot) like those chickens. I resist change…even if it is for my own good.  When I am not where I am supposed to be it sometimes takes a lot of urging to convince me I need to turn around and head the other way.

The only difference…. my face probably shows my dismay and alarm as I am being urged the right direction. I know I tend to question out loud if I am not comfortable with the situation.

I am fortunate that I have friends and family who make sure I know where I am supposed to be, at pretty much any given time. It is a blessing to have those people in my life. They keep me from running back and forth looking for that magical door.

May this weekend find you with people close by that keep you on the right side of the fence. May you and I be blessed and be a blessing to others as we live life. And may we all be willing to follow the gentle urging needed to keep us going in the right direction.

May we all, end up exactly where we are supposed to be.

“Are you where you are supposed to be?”
Jenn J.

 

Points of View

Steam rising from the river

Yesterday did not go quite as planned….at least as I had planned. I had planned to rake leaves. And I had planned to do some more last minute Fall outdoor things.

When I woke up yesterday I noticed the gleaming sheen of ice on our porch. There were a few flakes drifting around and I still thought I would be able to rake the thick coating of leaves off the grass in our front yard…..later in the day.

As the morning wore on, the wind started to howl, the snow came down thicker and I realized that lawn raking was not going to be happening. My husband informed me that I could still rake if I wanted to. I assured him that raking a leaf/snow mix was a bad idea.

I had let the girls out in the morning and saw that they were safely tucked into the small shed where they love to dust bath. I vaguely wondered if they would figure out to go in once night came around or if they would not want to walk on fresh fallen snow.

Come about 5:00 in the afternoon I had the answer to my wonderings. When it came time to lock the girls in for the night I was missing five Rhode Island Reds. I went to the house and got a flashlight and trudged back.

Under the non-working pickup in the shed, there were the five birds. Back to the house I went and grabbed a broom. Using the broom I started tapping on the pickup….loudly…and then swinging it around underneath to encourage those girls to make the journey to the coop.  It worked for two of them.

Enjoying the day after the snow

The last three decided to make life difficult. I would go one way around that vehicle and they would run the other. It didn’t take long and they had wedged themselves behind a large panel of wood.

I would say I was exasperated, but it was way beyond that.  I was to the stage of muttering under my breath about chicken soup tasting good….drumsticks and name-calling. For a space of time, I was starting to think I should be riding that broom instead of using it to try herd chickens.

Fortunately my husband came home and with the aid of a fishing net; the three birds were nabbed and safely installed in the coop for the night. It was too late for me to make it to my Bible Study group…which was a sad thing because I really really needed to go to Bible Study after the chicken chasing event.

I have a feeling those last three girls were scared of something they did not know. The first snow of the season left them feeling uneasy and out of their comfort zone. They did not want to walk on something that was not familiar.

I get that feeling….I don’t like being out of my comfort zone either!  I also do not like taking a path that feels different. It is too scary and you never know what you will encounter when you are asked to go through things that are not the same as before.

It would probably do me good to remember that, when I am asked by my Creator to do something different; it is for my own good when I am herded to the coop…it might be for my safety that I am asked to walk unfamiliar paths. I wonder how many times I am the one upside down in a fish net, squawking up a storm?

Beauty in the Morning

I also have the feeling those chickens have no idea how beautiful the morning after a snowfall can be.

The fog rising off the river….the trees decked in sparkling ice….and the hush that comes with a small layer of snow.

They cannot appreciate the crunch of icy pellets underfoot and the cold air as it makes your fingers tingle.

This morning was a good morning. I made no plans dependent on weather. The girls were once again enjoying being outdoors. The trees were beautiful. The leaves just might stay where they are, till they disintegrate next spring, and it is all good.

I will try not to squawk to much when guided down unfamiliar paths. I will, instead, try enjoy the view set before me….even though it may be different than I had planned.

 

“There is a sense of danger in leaving what you know,
even if what you know isn’t much.
― John William Tuohy